Sat Nam Rafael,
Through your practice you've started to become aware of your mind's
judgements, and because you have become an authentic human being,
inauthenticity in people's behaviour seems distasteful. The key is that
your brother-in-law is also just another part of you, so if you help
him, then you also help yourself. There's two ways to deal with this.
One way is to call him up and express how you feel about it to get it
off your chest. You can just be very simple and direct about it without
trying to make him wrong or getting into an argument, but just that from
your point of view the way he acts is very ungrateful and that it
affects you negatively. This way requires courage but if done correctly,
its impact can change both your lives. The key learning is not in
changing him, its in how you change yourself in learning to express the
truth.
The second way is usually used for those not close to you, or who you
don't have permission enough to tell them they are not acting right.
Here, you would silently bless the person as they are being ungrateful
by saying Sat Naam. Eventually, the impact of the blessing will change
the person's destiny and bring the person on the right path, in their
own way. This doesn't require courage, but it does require compassion
and kindness.
Both ways are effective, but for this particular situation, the first
way will be the most effective and have the greatest learning. Please do
whatever your intuition tells you is right.
Sat Naam,
J.
--- In Kundaliniyoga@
wrote:
>
> hi; i need your help. i've been practicing kundalini for the past few
years and i've been able to enjoy it's multiple benefits, both physical
and espiritual. nevertheless, there is this one aspect i haven't been
able to surpas thru practice. it is my fixation when it comes to people
with whom i feel a great deal of incompatibility (apathy). i've
complemented my practice with some reading about reincarnation and the
only explanation i find is that maybe i still hold some sort of
"unfinished business" with some of these people.
>
> currently i have this particular case with my brother in law, with
whom i have a limited level of tolerance for his actions. i feel
extermely unconfortable when i'm arround him since i see him as an
arrogant person, who shows little gratefulness to the universe for the
blessings he's received (no humbleness at all). this all goes against my
actual believes and values. the thing is, i don't know if this feeling
of mine has a particular espiritual base, or if it's just a simple case
of mental fixation, and how to solve it?
>
> if it were about any other person maybe ignoring him would be the
wisest choice, but in this case it's about a close family contact with
whom i have to deal with frequently. i've tried to discuss this with my
wife and assess the possibility of even speaking frankly about this with
him, but the way we see it, it's a mather of carachter, and it's all
very difficult to change. besides, why would it be my quest to change
this person? this situation is the anti-thesis of my line of thinking
and the things i believe and value out of life, i even see this person
as a bad influence for my dearest and closest ones.
>
> i would truly appreciate any insights you might be able to provide in
this matter.
>
> Sat Nam! Rafael.
>
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