Saturday, March 6, 2010

RE: [Kundalini Yoga] Re: Severe Problem

 

Another great event is a White Tantra workshop -- really opens the heart and
is a great "booster shot!"

<http://www.beliefnet.com/media/spacer.gif>
Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.

- Grandma Moses

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From: Kundaliniyoga@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Kundaliniyoga@yahoogroups.com]
On Behalf Of Antonia Tosa
Sent: Saturday, March 06, 2010 9:54 AM
To: Kundaliniyoga@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Kundalini Yoga] Re: Severe Problem

Sat Nam Luke,

Some times I also need external support to get over a strong feeling that it
would have been easier if I was in a different time and space.

I found a few things to help me during these times:

1. Attend a Kundulini yoga class, or a series, at a local yoga school.

2. Go to church or intensely pray from my heart and ask for help.

3. Do the set presented by Gurmukh on her "Kundulini Yoga" DVD. This set is
a very good heart opener. I also feel like the energy of the group and
teacher in that DVD is strong enough to give me the support I usually
receive from a live class (the CD can be found at www.yogatech.com or any
Whole Foods store)

4. Attend Summer/Winter Solstice. Summer Solstice is very close (see
www.3ho.org for details). There are about 2000 people meditating together,
and many experienced teachers. The energy is great, and 3 days of white
tantric in a row could help one work fast through many, many issues.

May God's blessing always be with you.
Prem Siri Kaur
-----Original Message-----
From: "lukehutton@ymail. <mailto:lukehutton%40ymail.com> com" <hutton.luke@
<mailto:hutton.luke%40gmail.com> gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:00:34
To: <Kundaliniyoga@ <mailto:Kundaliniyoga%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [Kundalini Yoga] Re: Severe Problem

Hi
Thanks for all the responces,
I'm not sure if i'm depressed or not,

i've experienced severe depression and anxiety in the past and it's not the
same, some aspects are simular in terms of the pains purpose, but this is
before the dissociation set in, now it's more like i'm just not here.

I havn't mentioned i did have a brief spell in a psychiatric ward, for only
a few weeks 3 years ago, when i completely couldn't sleep, also a few
bizarre experience during that time such as burning my wrist simply by
looking at it (literal burn which left a small scar).

i took olanzapine for 3 months and felt i never came back from it, it's hard
to remember what really happened, and i feel its heavily linked to the
sleeplessnes, invloving some terrible fear of that time.

whether theres something to genuinly fear or not is another question, alot
of exhaustion comes from attempting to suppress memory etc.

i feel there is alot of energy involved, alot of ungroundedness and i see
pain as a helpful thing (normally), just the pain becomes so overwhelming
(physically and emotionally) i only want to escape and find it
deconstructive.

in answer to one of the questions, yes i drank ayahuasca in south america,
in peru in a ceremonial setting.

i can see the benefits ayahausca could potentially have (why its called la
medecina etc), however, it wasn't helpful in this situation.

--- In Kundaliniyoga@ <mailto:Kundaliniyoga%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com, "lukehutton@..." <hutton.luke@...> wrote:
>
> I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce,
>
> but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21
> that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any
stress/emotion.
>
> have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and
exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling.
>
> it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged.
>
> i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my
life back on track.
>
> doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term.
>
> but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few
times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16)
>
> i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i
was looking for in psychedelics anyway.
>
> and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems.
>
>
> i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but
today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found
myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything,
rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration.
>
> the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when
you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further
away.
>
>
> i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a
place i might never come back from.
>
> i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it
was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time.
>
> but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger.
>
> burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from
severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation.
>
> i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never
encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling
or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my
life and my personality.
>

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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