Dear Katherine,
It's good you guys occupy separate space. Smart thinking. He was wrong, obviously. But you sound dismissive of PTSD, which could be understandable given what you've been through...sounds traumatic. But it's also part of the dance of abuse.
Ptsd is a terrifying state to exist in. Being abused by someone with PTSD is also terrifying.
I'm saying it sounds like he's dismissing your kundalini journey as you dismiss his PTSD. Two wrongs don't make a right. They make broken relationships. If only one person was to blame, there wouldn't be a relationship at all. That's my impression anyway.
Keep up and keep away from games and judgement as much as possible.
Love and light,
Erin Thomas
On Jan 13, 2012, at 12:17 PM, "Katherine" <kat@yogamagick.com> wrote:
> So, I considered So Purkh from Guru Ratana's advice. I found a couple mp3s of Niranjan Kaur singing in English and Gurmukhi and have listened to it regularly every day, trying to at least let it soak in.. I may have mentioned I have chosen to commit to 40 days of kriyas for elevation, plus the kriya of liberation as taught on Gurmukh's youtube vid... Before I could close with the long time sun song, he began texting me from the other room, "that is the most awful sound I have ever heard."... He went on to express his perception that it is "evil"... In that he thought it sounded as such and that he started seeing "demons" in the dark bedroom. I smiled and tried to tell him that "nam" is a holy word that even sikhs use frequently in their practice, but he only insinuated that they would be insulted to hear me say it like that, in addition to hurling what ever insults popped into his head. I tried to reason with him. He only got louder, and then pinched my cheek hard, continuing to shout abuse and he did slap me. I screamed (no words, just a loud "aaaaaa!" to get him to back off. He knows in Oregon there is zero tollerance for domestic abuse, so in his rage, he went to search my purse for the car keys, tearing it open and scattering its contents all over the floor. In all his insanity, he later claimed in text that he threw his back out. Anyway I am out of the house with a duffle bag of mostly yoga clothes because that is currently how I make a meager living. I am still determined to continue my journey in these kriyas with him and his so-called "PTSD" elsewhere. But where?
>
> -Katherine
> 503-891-5820
> www.yogamagick.com
>
>
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