Sat Nam,
I'm a new member. My name is Angela and I live and teach in Sweden. Wanted to respond to Erin's post because I think so many of us have experienced this, especially the part where we come down so hard on ourselves for not doing exactly what we think is supposed to be the correct way of practicing kundaliniyoga. As others have mentioned, you'll probably get more out of a practice that you approach with joy (even if it's later in the day) than trying to force yourself out of bed and feeling like you've failed when you can't do it.
I had a similar experience recently. My father passed away this summer and it involved a lot of physical and emotional hardship for me, partly because I was away from home and had to do a lot of air travel. I managed to keep up with my practice somewhat but when I returned home to Sweden everything just kind of fell apart. I could still wake up early most days but getting up and doing any kind of asanas or meditation felt quite impossible. I made it worse by fretting over how I was going to start classes in a month if I couldn't even do my own practice. At the same time I felt intuitively that I wasn't helping things by beating myself up - it just made me feel even weaker.
I consulted an experienced and very wise KY teacher whom I hold the utmost respect for and he gave me some great advice. He told me to take it easy and start slowly by reading Jaap Sahib (in English) and understand that all that divinity was also a part of me. Then after a while I could start with doing some asanas and the Aquarian Sadhana mantras for meditation. He suggested I not let myself get boxed in by a teacher-training definition of what my Sadhana should be. He put into words what I was actually feeling inside but could not verbalize.
I started reading Jaap Sahib in bed when I woke up in the morning. Eventually I managed to get out of bed and read it. Then I slowly added a yoga set and started doing the 62 minutes of meditation afterwards. But when the kids started school it was hard to fit it all in. So I just did what I could do each day (with devotion) and accepted that things were they way they were at the moment. And little by little I've been able to do more and more. Sometimes I can get up very early and fit everything in, sometimes I end up doing my Sadhana later in the day and now and then I might miss a day ( or do a breathwalk meditation while I'm out and about). At this point I've started to have a little more consistency in my practice and have found a set and meditation that I intend to continue with for at least 40 days. But most importantly I feel like I am being more honest in my practice and letting it work for me.
Discipline is important but so is listening to what you need to be at your best. You can force yourself to sit for an hour to meditate but if your heart isn't it, what good does it do?
Well, that was a long way of saying be kind to yourself and listen inward to what you really need right here, right now!
Warmest regards,
Angela
Sat Nam All!
man, am i ever having a hard time getting up even an hour before going to
work to do yoga. anyone have any tips? or advice or good old fashioned
encouragement.
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